Acknowledge the impact your behavior has on your partner.If you’re the one with ADHD, it’s important to recognize how your untreated symptoms affect your partner.If you’ve been together a long time or you’ve had the same fights again and again, you might think that you already understand where your partner is coming from.
The non-ADHD partner complains, nags, and becomes increasingly resentful while the ADHD partner, feeling judged and misunderstood, gets defensive and pulls away. Once you are able to identify how the symptoms are ADHD are influencing your interactions as a couple, you can learn better ways of responding.For the partner with ADHD, this means learning how to manage the symptoms.For the non-ADHD partner, this means learning how to react to frustrations in ways that encourage and motivate your partner. If you have ADHD, you may zone out during conversations, which can make your partner feel ignored and devalued.You may also miss important details or mindlessly agree to something you don’t remember later, which can be frustrating to others. Even when a person with ADHD is paying attention, they may later forget what was promised or discussed.Sometimes it feels as if your significant other just doesn’t care.
It’s easy to see how the feelings on both sides can contribute to a destructive cycle in the relationship. Transforming your relationship starts with understanding the role that ADHD plays.While the distractibility, disorganization, and impulsivity of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD or ADD) can cause problems in many areas of adult life, these symptoms can be particularly damaging when it comes to your closest relationships.If you’re the person with ADHD, you may feel like you’re constantly being criticized, nagged, and micromanaged.The good news is that you can turn these problems around.You can build a healthier, happier partnership by learning about the role ADHD plays in your relationship and how both of you can choose more positive and productive ways to respond to challenges and communicate with each other.This understanding can help the non-ADHD partner take symptoms less personally.